The Telecon between Trump and Modi

Santram Bajaj

US President Donald Trump felt compelled to offer his ”˜negotiating’ skills to PMs of India and Pakistan over Kashmir. He said in the joint Press conference with Pakistan Prime Minister Imran Khan that  Modi had  also asked him to mediate over Kashmir – a bone of contention between the two countries and he was happy to do that.

India denied that Modi ever asked Trump to intervene. The issue is bilateral between India and Pakistan.

 President Trump rang PM Modi, this week. He also rang PM Imran Khan.

 Here is the brief conversation between Trump and Modi, which was ”˜recorded secretly’ by ”˜Tricky leaks’ and passed on to me. I am sharing it with you.

The Conversation

Trump: “Hello, my friend Modi! How are you?”

Modi: “I am phine (fine) Buddy! Why you ring?”

T: “You know why. You guys are planning something big on the Kashmir border.”
M: “Who told you?”

T: “We have our own resources . Don’t do it. You must use restraint.”

M: “I am not happy with you. Why did you lie that I asked you to mediate in Kashmir?”

T: “But, you did. When we met last time, you said Kashmir is a heaven on earth and very peaceful that I should mediate”.

M: “OMG! I said, meditate in Kashmir, not mediate.”

T: “You and your bloody English.”

M: “My English is better than your IQ”

T: “What do you mean? You are insulting me Modi.”

M: “I don’t mean your Intelligent Quotient, but your Indian Quotient. Your knowledge about India is very poor.”

T: “Don’t underestimate America. We know everything in the world. We knew even  in advance when you were planning to scrap that article 420…”

M: “Article 370, not 420”

T: “Oh, Yeh! 370, whatever. We didn’t stop you.”

M: “How could you? It is none of your bloody business. It is our internal matter.”

T: “Hey, Hey there Modi! You calm down. It is America’s business everywhere and anywhere. We must protect the weaker nations.”

M: “Yes, we know. Iraq, Libya, Syria, Afghanistan and now Iran. But don’t you take ”˜panga’ with us.”

T: “What’s this Panga? “

M: “Ask your translator or any Punjabi from US.”

T: “No, no, please tell me; hope it is not any ”˜gaali’ .”

M: “Oh ! so you are learning Hindi. It is not a gaali, but just a friendly warning that means  ”˜don’t meddle in our affairs. Look, Trump ji, we didn’t offer to arbitrate when you met Kim of North Korea. Or about you building the wall between USA and Mexico. Likewise we will appreciate that you keep out of our affairs.”

T: “So you, are really a,’ chatur bania’- a smart businessman. I was only helping. No hard feelings!

Ok, We will talk, when we meet in Paris or in the G7 meeting. By the way, thanks again for looking after my daughter and son when they were there. They were very impressed and spoke very highly of you.”

M: “That was sometime back, but it was a pleasure. Come again, all of you. Bye for now.”

T: “Bye”

The conversation ended thus.

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